Friends: self-sacrifice. is. heroism.

Watching someone care for a loved one who’s either unresponsive or almost entirely gone is one of the most amazingly heroic things you can witness. To save someone from a fire takes a matter of minutes, but to stay by someone’s side can take years, even a lifetime.

My dad’s only forty-seven, but he was diagnosed with a fatal, degenerative, brain disorder a couple years ago. Due to personality changes, he no longer acts like the man my mom married, sometimes he even says cruel things, but she’s still supportive and strong; taking care of him as much has he’ll allow her to and holding the rest of our family together through this crisis. She doesn’t know anyone sees, but I see, and I admire her ever day for her strength and faith.

~Kelsey

That’s just so… awesome.

“It was Gertruda that saved me, and I’ll never forget it,” Mr Grzebski told news channel TVN24 of his recovery.

Mrs Grzebski is reported to have moved her husband every hour to prevent bed sores.

“I cried a lot, and I prayed a lot,” Mrs Grzebski said on Polsat television.

“Those who came to see us kept asking: ‘When is he going to die?’ But he’s not dead.”

Heroism is a lifestyle. It is. Really.

And Mr. Grzebski concludes:

“I’ve got nothing to complain about.”

Nothing! At all. Maybe he was 19 years in a coma. But all those whom he ever loved, were still there for him.

Guys, girls, let’s never forget this. Ever. Mrs Grzebski’s my heroine.

Story Here

Oh, and if any of you are in Germany, drop me an email.

Gideon and his army of 32,000 men are preparing for battle, a battle where the odds against them are so great that Gideon himself had been uncertain about God’s direction. He had checked and double-checked with God, yet the command was still the same, clear and unmistakable. He was to go forwards. God was going to save them.

As one of the most thrilling days in history starts to unfold, God begins one of the most mind-boggling military preparations that man has ever witnessed. He turns to Gideon and says, “You have too many men for me to deliver Midian into their hands. In order that Israel may not boast against me that her own strength has saved her, announce now to the people, ‘Anyone who trembles with fear may turn back and leave Mount Gilead.’”

22,000 men went home.

Did God realize how many scaredy-cats he had? Surely he didn’t think that so many men would go home. They were now facing an army thousands of times their size. Surely God would call some of them back. Cutting 22,0000 men… leaving only 10,000 men… there had to be a mistake. But God doesn’t think so, in fact, he speaks again, “There are still too many men. Take them down to the water, and I will sift them for you there. If I say, ‘This one shall go with you,’ he shall go; but if I say, ‘This one shall not go with you,’ he shall not go.”

God chose 300 men.

Three hundred men… three hundred men that were ready to do God’s command. Ready to fight a battle with an army which—as the scriptures say so vividly—was as thick as locusts, and that had so many camels (to carry away the plunder) that they could be counted no more easily than the sand on the seashore.

Three hundred men… that were not afraid.

They Were Not Afraid

Why not? They had every human reason to be afraid, and yet, nobody was muttering under their breath about this fantastic suicide mission. God had chosen for himself 300 men, 300 men of valor, 300 men of faith, 300 men that could not win the battle, 300 men through whom he would demonstrate his grace.

They were not afraid, because God was with them. They were not afraid, because God had chosen them. They were not afraid, because God had instructed them. They were not afraid, because God had sent them.

They were not afraid, because they had faith.

There are many more stories, many more examples, many more days when faith had victory over fear. Sometimes it was more amazing than this. There is Daniel. Then there are Daniel’s three friends. Their example is one of the most thrilling, one of the most powerful, one of the most inspiring. Three men, in the prime of life, three men against a whole nation, three men who lived when they should have died.

It was a day to be remembered forever. A day when three men stood, when three men refused to bow to an idol built in defiance to the God of Heaven and Earth, when three men defied the king.

A day, when 3 men were not afraid.

Why not? Why weren’t they afraid? Why wasn’t Joseph? Or Abraham? Or Moses? Or Paul? Or David?

Or… you?

Yes! You! Why did you jump? Why do you feel uncomfortable in a hero’s shoes? Friends, this is the focus of this article. Do you believe God? Are you ready to do his command? Are you ready to be chosen for a dangerous mission? Are you ready to stand when others run? Are you willing to—in the words of Jim Elliot—“give up what you cannot keep to gain what you cannot lose?” Or are you going to leave that for somebody else? Somebody else? Like who? Who?

Like Who?

Who would have stood in the place of Daniel? Who would have stood in the place of David? Who would have stood in the place of Moses? Who would have stood in the place of Joseph?

Who will stand in your place?

Nobody. Your potential, will be lost potential—because you were afraid. You were afraid, because you would not believe God. You were afraid because you would not obey God. You were afraid, because you did not know God. You were afraid to die, because you were afraid to live.

You Can

You don’t have to be afraid. No! You can be fearless! You can be faithful. You can stand when other men run. You can be an incredible tool in God’s hands. God can do with you far more than you ever dreamt of doing yourself. But what does it take?

It takes surrender. Yes, it takes surrender. It takes giving up your own strength. It takes your life. Your life! God wants it! Every bit of it! Every shard, every scrap, every ounce. He wants to give you His strength for your weakness. He wants to give you heroism for your helplessness. He wants to give you fearlessness for your fearfulness.

Give it up.

This is the first article in a 3-part series on Godly Manhood and Womanhood. In part 3 we will discuss the practical application of fearlessness and faithfulness to the life of both men and women. But before that, we’re going to talk about two more aspects of godly character: compassion and justice. Keep checking back for the rest of this series.

Where is the Biblical basis for this? I get that men should fight against injustice and the such, but where is a list of masculine vs. feminine traits in scripture? Why does the man have to be the hero? Is it just physical strength that demands a man act or is there something more that drives these character traits? Furthermore, what if they are reversed (i.e. Can a Christian male be a “metro-sexual” and/or a Christian female be a “tomboy”).

This question was in response to my post “Of Giants and Grasshoppers” which, just to note it here before you do, has some embarrassing historical errors, it also did not address some very fundamental principles which I hope to make clear in the following series.

In this series, I am not going to be giving the readers of Oneway Purpose a direct answer to this question. Instead I will focus on the Biblical principles of character that will guide us to a fuller understanding of Biblical Manhood. In the end you will be the one who answers these questions for yourself. This series will concentrate on providing you with the means to find a Biblical resolution.

1: Fearless Men, Faithful Men

Why shouldn’t men be afraid? What does it mean to be a man of valor? What does it mean to be strong and not afraid? What does it take to be fearless? In the first article of a 3-part series, we discover what it takes. Everything.

2: Compassion and Justice

Contrary to what you might have heard, big muscles don’t make you a man. So what does define Godly Manhood in the scriptures? What does God require from men and women devoted to him? Is it tough guys with a shiny sword? Pretty girls with long dresses?

3: To Be A Hero(ine) in 2007

What does it take to be a hero? Fearlessness, Compassion, and Justice. What does it take to be a heroine? Fearlessness, Compassion, and Justice. What’s the difference between a hero and heroine? In applying the same 3 biblical standards of character to men and women alike, we discover the answer our questions. Why should men protect women and children? Why should a woman protect her children? Why should the strong protect the weak? Why should men be the first to stand in the line of fire?

All of these articles will be coming out in the next two weeks. Keep checking back. I already have the first post done, so you can expect it up as soon as I can revise and publish it. You can monitor the progress of the other three posts right on the sidebar.

Oh, and where I have I been? Why haven’t I posted sooner? I have a good excuse. Every spare moment was going into getting the Modesty Survey ready for launch – including a couple nights with just a couple hours of sleep. It’s been a great success with over 1 million pageloads since launch. Make sure to check it out if you haven’t already.

I’m back! And with me is Oneway Purpose.

First, I owe an explanation for my extended absence. However, I’m not sure if I’m entirely able to do so. Life has been very busy, and my blog hasn’t been a priority. Thus, it has been neglected. I could never bring myself to post an ‘away’ post, because of the almost deathly tone they always have, and I wasn’t giving up blogging. But, nevertheless, I should have enlightened you.

As for now, I can’t promise to blog very frequently. But I’ll start off by posting something new at least once a week, and we’ll work from there. The Lord has laid this blog on my heart as a ministry to place in higher priority than it has been. At the same time he has opened up some time each day for writing. Isn’t God incredible!?

About two months ago, one of my readers asked me for a biblical exposition of real manhood. I told him I’d have it up in a few days, then unexpectedly went traveling for a couple weeks, and quite forgot about it upon my return. (And when I remembered, I was too busy to do anything about it. Don’t you hate that?) So. You can guess what the next post(s) will be about!

There’s one other thing I notice I haven’t done anything about. Doesn’t my “About” page still say ‘More information coming here very soon.’? I think so! I think some of you have realized that very soon can be interpreted more than one way, unfortunately. So, also on my priority list is to satisfy your curiosity as to who I am.

So everybody, keep checking back! (once or twice a week)

“How tight is too tight for tops? Are jeans with holes in the thighs immodest? Is a purse worn with the strap diagonally across the chest a stumbling block? Are shirts with messages across the front distracting?”

Join other Christian young men and women in TheRebelution.com’s new and exciting project: The Modesty Survey. The Modesty Survey allows any girl to submit anonymous, modesty-related questions to Christian guys and to receive (multiple) anonymous replies. It’s the discussion you’ve always wanted to have.

Check it out »»»

A speech given by President Roosevelt in Washington on March 13, 1905, before the National Congress of Mothers.

In our modern industrial civilization there are many and grave dangers to counterbalance the splendors and the triumphs. It is not a good thing to see cities grow at disproportionate speed relatively to the country; for the small land owners, the men who own their little homes, and therefore to a very large extent the men who till farms, the men of the soil, have hitherto made the foundation of lasting national life in every State; and, if the foundation becomes either too weak or too narrow, the superstructure, no matter how attractive, is in imminent danger of falling.

But far more important than the question of the occupation of our citizens is the question of how their family life is conducted. No matter what that occupation may be, as long as there is a real home and as long as those who make up that home do their duty to one another, to their neighbors and to the State, it is of minor consequence whether the man’s trade is plied in the country or in the city, whether it calls for the work of the hands or for the work of the head.

No piled-up wealth, no splendor of material growth, no brilliance of artistic development, will permanently avail any people unless its home life is healthy, unless the average man possesses honesty, courage, common sense, and decency, unless he works hard and is willing at need to fight hard; and unless the average woman is a good wife, a good mother, able and willing to perform the first and greatest duty of womanhood, able and willing to bear, and to bring up as they should be brought up, healthy children, sound in body, mind, and character, and numerous enough so that the race shall increase and not decrease.

There are certain old truths which will be true as long as this world endures, and which no amount of progress can alter. One of these is the truth that the primary duty of the husband is to be the home-maker, the breadwinner for his wife and children, and that the primary duty of the woman is to be the helpmate, the housewife, and mother. The woman should have ample educational advantages; but save in exceptional cases the man must be, and she need not be, and generally ought not to be, trained for a lifelong career as the family breadwinner; and, therefore, after a certain point, the training of the two must normally be different because the duties of the two are normally different. This does not mean inequality of function, but it does mean that normally there must be dissimilarity of function. On the whole, I think the duty of the woman the more important, the more difficult, and the more honorable of the two; on the whole I respect the woman who does her duty even more than I respect the man who does his.

No ordinary work done by a man is either as hard or as responsible as the work of a woman who is bringing up a family of small children; for upon her time and strength demands are made not only every hour of the day but often every hour of the night. She may have to get up night after night to take care of a sick child, and yet must by day continue to do all her household duties as well; and if the family means are scant she must usually enjoy even her rare holidays taking her whole brood of children with her. The birth pangs make all men the debtors of all women. Above all our sympathy and regard are due to the struggling wives among those whom Abraham Lincoln called the plain people, and whom he so loved and trusted; for the lives of these women are often led on the lonely heights of quiet, self-sacrificing heroism.

Just as the happiest and most honorable and most useful task that can be set any man is to earn enough for the support of his wife and family, for the bringing up and starting in life of his children, so the most important, the most honorable and desirable task which can be set any woman is to be a good and wise mother in a home marked by self-respect and mutual forbearance, by willingness to perform duty, and by refusal to sink into self-indulgence or avoid that which entails effort and self-sacrifice. Of course there are exceptional men and exceptional women who can do and ought to do much more than this, who can lead and ought to lead great careers of outside usefulness in addition to—not as substitutes for—their home work; but I am not speaking of exceptions; I am speaking of the primary duties, I am speaking of the average citizens, the average men and women who make up the nation.

Inasmuch as I am speaking to an assemblage of mothers, I shall have nothing whatever to say in praise of an easy life. Yours is the work which is never ended. No mother has an easy time, the most mothers have very hard times; and yet what true mother would barter her experience of joy and sorrow in exchange for a life of cold selfishness, which insists upon perpetual amusement and the avoidance of care, and which often finds its fit dwelling place in some flat designed to furnish with the least possible expenditure of effort the maximum of comfort and of luxury, but in which there is literally no place for children?

The woman who is a good wife, a good mother, is entitled to our respect as is no one else; but he is entitled to it only because, and so long as, she is worthy of it. Effort and self-sacrifice are the law of worthy life for the man as for the woman; tho neither the effort nor the self-sacrifice may be the same for the one as for the other. I do not in the least believe in the patient Griselda type of woman, in the woman who submits to gross and long continued ill treatment, any more than I believe in a man who tamely submits to wrongful aggression. No wrong-doing is so abhorrent as wrong-doing by a man toward the wife and the children who should arouse every tender feeling in his nature. Selfishness toward them, lack of tenderness toward them, lack of consideration for them, above all, brutality in any form toward them, should arouse the heartiest scorn and indignation in every upright soul.

I believe in the woman keeping her self-respect just as I believe in the man doing so. I believe in her rights just as much as I believe in the man’s, and indeed a little more; and I regard marriage as a partnership, in which each partner is in honor bound to think of the rights of the other as well as of his or her own. But I think that the duties are even more important than the rights; and in the long run I think that the reward is ampler and greater for duty well done, than for the insistence upon individual rights, necessary tho this, too, must often be. Your duty is hard, your responsibility great; but greatest of all is your reward. I do not pity you in the least. On the contrary, I feel respect and admiration for you.

Into the woman’s keeping is committed the destiny of the generations to come after us. In bringing up your children you mothers must remember that while it is essential to be loving and tender it is no less essential to be wise and firm. Foolishness and affection must not be treated as interchangeable terms; and besides training your sons and daughters in the softer and milder virtues, you must seek to give them those stern and hardy qualities which in after life they will surely need. Some children will go wrong in spite of the best training; and some will go right even when their surroundings are most unfortunate; nevertheless an immense amount depends upon the family training. If you mothers through weakness bring up your sons to be selfish and to think only of themselves, you will be responsible for much sadness among the women who are to be their wives in the future. If you let your daughters grow up idle, perhaps under the mistaken impression that as you yourselves have had to work hard they shall know only enjoyment, you are preparing them to be useless to others and burdens to themselves. Teach boys and girls alike that they are not to look forward to live spent in avoiding difficulties, but to lives spent in overcoming difficulties. Teach them that work, for themselves and also for others, is not a curse but a blessing; seek to make them happy, to make them enjoy life, but seek also to make them face life with the steadfast resolution to wrest success from labor and adversity, and to do their whole duty before God and to man. Surely she who can thus train her sons and her daughters is thrice fortunate among women.

There are many good people who are denied the supreme blessing of children, and for these we have the respect and sympathy always due to those who, from no fault of their own, are denied any of the other great blessings of life. But the man or woman who deliberately forego these blessings, whether from viciousness, coldness, shallow-heartedness, self-indulgence, or mere failure to appreciate aright the difference between the all-important and the unimportant,—why, such a creature merits contempt as hearty as any visited upon the soldier who runs away in battle, or upon the man who refuses to work for the support of those dependent upon him, and who tho able-bodied is yet content to eat in idleness the bread which others provide.

The existence of women of this type forms one of the most unpleasant and unwholesome features of modern life. If any one is so dim of vision as to fail to see what a thoroughly unlovely creature such a woman is I wish they would read Judge Robert Grant’s novel “Unleavened Bread,” ponder seriously the character of Selma, and think of the fate that would surely overcome any nation which developed its average and typical woman along such lines. Unfortunately it would be untrue to say that this type exists only in American novels. That it also exists in American life is made unpleasantly evident by the statistics as to the dwindling families in some localities. It is made evident in equally sinister fashion by the census statistics as to divorce, which are fairly appalling; for easy divorce is now as it ever has been, a bane to any nation, a curse to society, a menace to the home, an incitement to married unhappiness and to immorality, an evil thing for men and a still more hideous evil for women. These unpleasant tendencies in our American life are made evident by articles such as those which I actually read not long ago in a certain paper, where a clergyman was quoted, seemingly with approval, as expressing the general American attitude when he said that the ambition of any save a very rich man should be to rear two children only, so as to give his children an opportunity “to taste a few of the good things of life.”

This man, whose profession and calling should have made him a moral teacher, actually set before others the ideal, not of training children to do their duty, not of sending them forth with stout hearts and ready minds to win triumphs for themselves and their country, not of allowing them the opportunity, and giving them the privilege of making their own place in the world, but, forsooth, of keeping the number of children so limited that they might “taste a few good things!” The way to give a child a fair chance in life is not to bring it up in luxury, but to see that it has the kind of training that will give it strength of character. Even apart from the vital question of national life, and regarding only the individual interest of the children themselves, happiness in the true sense is a hundredfold more apt to come to any given member of a healthy family of healthy-minded children, well brought up, well educated, but taught that they must shift up, well educated, but taught that they must shift for themselves, must win their own way, and by their own exertions make their own positions of usefulness, than it is apt to come to those whose parents themselves have acted on and have trained their children to act on, the selfish and sordid theory that the whole end of life is to “taste a few good things.”

The intelligence of the remark is on a par with its morality; for the most rudimentary mental process would have shown the speaker that if the average family in which there are children contained but two children the nation as a whole would decrease in population so rapidly that in two or three generations it would very deservedly be on the point of extinction, so that the people who had acted on this base and selfish doctrine would be giving place to others with braver and more robust ideals. Nor would such a result be in any way regrettable; for a race that practised such doctrine—that is, a race that practised race suicide—would thereby conclusively show that it was unfit to exist, and that it had better give place to people who had not forgotten the primary laws of their being.

To sum up, then, the whole matter is simple enough. If either a race or an individual prefers the pleasure of more effortless ease, of self-indulgence, to the infinitely deeper, the infinitely higher pleasures that come to those who know the toil and the weariness, but also the joy, of hard duty well done, why, that race or that individual must inevitably in the end pay the penalty of leading a life both vapid and ignoble. No man and no woman really worthy of the name can care for the life spent solely or chiefly in the avoidance of risk and trouble and labor. Save in exceptional cases the prizes worth having in life must be paid for, and the life worth living must be a life of work for a worthy end, and ordinarily of work more for others than for one’s self.

The woman’s task is not easy—no task worth doing is easy—but in doing it, and when she has done it, there shall come to her the highest and holiest joy known to mankind; and having done it, she shall have the reward prophesied in Scripture; for her husband and her children, yes, and all people who realize that her work lies at the foundation of all national happiness and greatness, shall rise up and call her blessed.

3 years ago when I wrote and submitted my first article to a magazine, I had no concept of where it would take me. My first article was almost an accident, but it was one of the best accidents I ever made. My goal wasn’t to be an author, and in fact, writing was not my strong point and definitely not something I wanted to do more of than I had to.

That last couple years have been a growing, stretching and learning experience for me. Most of all, I have grown closer to God. I have grown closer to God because He has taken the time to lead me forwards and onwards. And now, looking back, I realize that God has been doing an awesome work in my life. But, what hurts most is when I discovered that self, yes that great dragon we all are well acquainted with, stands up and says, “Look what I have done.”

Friends, success is not measured by what we have done. It is measured by what God has done. And this is the topic I want to focus on today. I want to share what it is that gives us joy and happiness. I want to show you that we can be just as fulfilled at the first step as we are at the last. I want to show you that your accomplishments are not what measure your success.

Have you succeeded?

Well maybe in 20 years once I’ve reached all my currently set goals I’ll be able to say, “Yes, I’ve succeeded.” Maybe once I get elected as the Prime Minister I’ll be able to say, “I’ve succeeded.” Or… maybe, when it comes to the end of this day, I’ll be able to say, “I’ve succeeded.”

What is it that measures success? Is it the completion of this article I’m working on? Well, in a way I’ll have accomplished this goal and will have succeeded. I will have reached my intended destination. But friends, that’s not the success I refer to. Life is not all about reaching destinations. Life is about walking with God. Success is about walking with God.

A dear sister confided in me one day. She said, “David, I feel so left behind. Everybody is doing so much. People like Alex and Brett, like you, make me feel so… unable.”

And friends, I have my own list of people that make me feel incapable. Oh yes I do, and I fear it stretches much longer than it ought. But I want to tell you right now: that list does not matter. That list is irrelevant. Because it doesn’t measure our success.

The Yardstick

The yardstick of true success isn’t actually a yardstick at all; rather, it’s a heartstick. If you want to know how you are succeeding in life, there’s only one thing to do, examine your heart. See if your hand is in God’s hand, if your heart is trusting Him, if your ears are hearing His voice. And when we do this, we don’t need other people to tell us of our achievements to know that we are succeeding.

But on that note, how can we truthfully say, “I have succeeded”? What have we done that counts to success? When God takes us and leads us, when he calls us and we obey, what counts as success? It’s faith, it’s obedience, it’s believing God! It’s the same faith, the same obedience that God put in our hearts in the first place. Truly, we love him only because He first loved us. Truly, there is nothing that I have done. But yet, I have succeeded. I have succeeded, by grace. Oh, the joy of mercy, the wonder of grace.

The Joy in Success

Friends, there is a glory in success. There is a joy that passes all understanding. When we’re walking with God, He is our joy. We don’t need to pursue anything else for our pleasure. We don’t need to reach any other height for greater exhilaration, we don’t need to climb to any other position where we will be more famous. In this place, friends, with our hand in God’s hand, is where we ought to be. If you’re the president or the plumber, you’ll still have succeeded.

Called out of your Comfort Zone

Recently I wrote the article, “The Best You Have”, and I covered the topic of our efforts, our energy, and how that relates in God’s plan for our success. You may ask me now, “How does giving God the best that I have change my life if all that matters is our walk with God?” I’m pretty sure that question was on somebody’s mind, because it was on mine, but there’s a simple answer. It is God’s will that we give him our best and our all, therefore, in my life this translates directly to a matter of obedience. Friend, if you’re not giving God everything, you’re missing out on so much. If you are, you’re missing out on nothing. When God has our life to work with, our best devoted to His glory, He can do awesome things. Friends, that’s success.

And there’s an incredible exhilaration when God calls us to run with Him. It reminds me of the first time (only time) I went skiing. First, I took a lesson and learned how to ski. Then I spent an hour on the small slope. Then I went for the larger slope. Oh my, oh my, I fell a few times on my first trip down. But finally, on the second trip down the hill, somehow I relaxed. Once I relaxed, the thrill was incredible, and I wasn’t falling down. No. I was racing down, with the wind in my face, my poles at my side, cutting across, cutting back, swooping down into line for the next ride back up.

But what happened? When did I begin enjoying it? When I gave up on my fears, and relaxed. I know it’s a poor illustration. But friends, when we’re ready to give up our fears, when we’re ready to relax and let God take control…

He’ll give us the ride of our life!

We left home 5:30 am on Friday, and got back 10 days later at 12:00 am on Sunday. God blessed me so much on this trip. From the wedding in Tennessee to the family camp in Indiana, God used many people to touch my life and convict me, as well as to strengthen and encourage me. I’m looking forwards to sharing some of the lessons God has taught me over the coming weeks.

The family camp meeting was the best and I hope to be interviewing a few of the speakers right here on Oneway Purpose. Stay tuned!

The next best was the wedding. And then of course, spending time together as a family, driving. See! (I rarely sit in the back, but when I do, my little sisters love it. Sometimes to the chagrin of the rest of my wanting-to-be-sleeping family.)